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Vigilance: A Parent's Duty

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The Tampa Tribune

Published: November 12, 2008

Protecting children from the pitfalls and perils of the world is a job most parents take very seriously. We go to great lengths to teach our young right from wrong, keep them warm, clothed and fed. We lay awake nights worrying about how to expose them to the things they must know about and how to shelter them from the bad they don't need to know about just yet.

But, what should we do when sheltering them from the evils of the world around them could actually work against them?

This past Halloween I had a first-hand reminder of just how important it is to be as frank as possible with children to give them the tools they need to stay safe.

A neighbor, and a rather diligent parent, brought it to my attention that a registered sexual offender had moved back into our neighborhood - right across the street from my home.

"Did you know?" she asked.

While I generally make it a habit to check out the Florida Department of Law Enforcement's Web site a few times a year so as not to be caught off guard by new neighbors; no, I didn't know. This year has been a bad one around my house and it fell off my radar - much to my dismay.

Following the annual trick-or-treating production, I went home and checked for myself. Sure enough, there he was on the screen. The man has served his time on federal charges and is now back home again. This leaves my neighborhood (and many others like it in Pasco County and the entire country for that matter) facing quite a quandary.

How can children be protected when the "bad guys" are right next door? Is it ethical to even make an issue out of it when a person has served their time and been lawfully released? Should parents be worried?

While pondering these questions, I sat down with my 9-year-old daughter and went over the basic safety lessons we've drummed into her practically since birth. I pulled up the FDLE Web site (fdle.state.fl.us) and showed her our new neighbor's picture, reinforced some basic rules of our household and urged caution on her part (and ours).

Not feeling like I'd done quite enough, I turned to some advice from the Pasco County Sheriff's Office. It seems my gut reactions were the ones law enforcement often recommends.

"Vigilance is a parent's best weapon," said Kevin Doll, spokesman for the sheriff's office.

Doll said in most cases, offenders and predators victimize children they are related to or are acquainted with. This doesn't mean unknown children aren't sometimes targeted, however.

To err on the side of caution, which most parents prefer to do, he recommends stranger danger lessons and programs, teaching children about appropriate and inappropriate touching and simply keeping a close eye on them.

While it would be nice to live in a world where dangers don't exist, we simply do not. We are often faced with live-and-let-live types of situations. Vigilantism, as Doll pointed out, isn't an answer. Caution, awareness and vigilance are.

So, what are we doing in my neighborhood?

We're not grabbing the torches and pitchforks. We're keeping an eye out for each others' kids. We're making sure they call home when they visit to play. We're walking our children's friends' home after dark or looking out as they make the journey. Things, by the way, many of us have done all along.

As Kevin Doll said, vigilance is a parent's best weapon. We can't protect our children from everything, but we can arm them and ourselves with the right tools and work as a community to keep our youngsters safe.

To check on the status of your neighborhood and its residents, visit the FDLE Web site at fdle.state.fl.us. Keep in mind, however, that caution and supervision are just plain smart no matter who shows up on your neighborhood's map.

Sherri Lonon is the editor of In The Loop

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